18 Week Old Stillborn

Today, I was blessed with a very unique opportunity.

I work at a funeral home, and a few times a month we get to deal with a family that has a baby, either stillborn, premature, or has died soon after death, that we receive and perform the necessary duties for a funeral. Today, we dealt with an 18-week-old stillborn.

It was an extremely well-formed body and a true testament of the Theology of the Body, on two accounts: the nature of pregnancy, and the funeral services the parents desired for their child.

In both of these accounts, we can see a common theme - the gift of self.

The pregnant mother, who truly lives a life of love, gives herself to the child. She allows her own body to be a house for the child. She sacrifices her own pleasures, whether they be food and drink or engaging in certain activities, so that her child can grow and develop in a healthy manner.

Similarly, the funeral services that the parents desired to have for their child showed that they too wanted to offer themselves for their child. The mother wanted nothing more than to be a part of her daughter's life. She wanted nothing more than to hold her daughter, after we had wrapped her in a little yellow blanket. She wanted to give herself to her daughter, and had her daughter grown up, I feel confident that her parents would have shown her a good example of what love really is: the gift of self.

In today's world, especially in Washington with all the politicians and the center of debate for laws that will govern our nation, we often see the other side of this. We often see those people looking out for their own profit, people trying to figure out what they can do to make money, people willing to compromise anything to get re-elected. Where does this all lead us? To a place where contraception and abortion are legal. A place where cloning is becoming legal. A place where homosexual "marriages," are becoming the norm. All of this and much more stems from this attitude that it's all about me. But, how satisfying is that really?

I would say look at the face of a mother who has just finished breastfeeding her child. I can gurantee that you're more likely to see joy in her face than in the face of the pharmacist who is handing out contraception. Not only because th mother is giving of herself. But furthermore, because when a woman breastfeeds, there is a natural chemical released that produces a sense of pleasure within her. Our bodies naturally choose the gift of self. Contraception, abortion, cloning, homosexual "marriages" do quite the opposite. It is not natural.

But, we can see within the human body the natural desire to live out the gift of self, to live in a sense where it is not about us but about the other. The next time you see a woman who has just finished breastfeeding, look at her face. I'm sure that you'll see the same joy that was on the face of the mother who held her 18 week old stillborn baby.

That is joy. That is love.

Here is a quote from St. Catherine of Siena's Dialogue that explains this well:
"Open the eye of thy intellect, and gaze into Me, and thou shalt see the beauty of My rational creature. And look at those creatures who, among the beauties which I have given to the soul, creating her in My image and similitude, are clothed with the nuptial garment (that is, the garment of love), adorned with many virtues, by which they are united with Me through love. And yet I tell thee, if thou shouldest ask Me, who these are, I should reply (said the sweet and amorous Word of God) they are another Myself, inasmuch as they have lost and denied their own will, and are clothed with Mine, are united to Mine, are conformed to Mine."